The last few weeks and months have been fairly smooth for our family, but we have a few friends who have been enduring difficult times (a slight understatement, really). As I listened to the Sovereign Grace station we "created" on Pandora, this song came on:
As I listened I thought about my friends and their intense struggles. I thought about the losses that I am not experiencing but that have seemed to pierce my heart deeply. I felt as though my breath had been knocked out of me. Do I really want this? Can I honestly say, Oh let Your will be done in me, In Your love I will abide. Oh I long for nothing else as long as You are glorified.
I want that to be my heart's prayer and cry to God. I want Him to be glorified, and I find myself trembling inside just thinking about it because truly nothing else matters, but I know that my selfish and self-protective desires get in the way. So I ask, Lord, help me.